brownie cookies

After Scarlett's surgery I told her I'd make her anything she wanted. She wanted brownies. Or cookies. So  brownie cookies we decided on. Once upon a time I had some really good brownie cookies-they tasted just like brownies only they were cookies. These cookies aren't bad and they tasted a little brownie-ish but they weren't exact, brownie impersonators really. Either way they were still a pretty tasty chocolate cookie (and easy to make.)

Brownie Cookies
2/3 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1 Tablespoon water
1 Tablespoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups mini-chocolate chips

1. Bake at 375 for 7 minutes. Let cool on pan for two minutes then transfer to wire rack.

2. Cream together shortening, brown sugar, water and vanilla extract. Once creamed incorporate each egg one at a time. Add remaining ingredients until well-mixed.

3. Drop by greased Tablespoon full onto cookie sheets and cook.

4. Sprinkle with powdered sugar.

My Notes:
Cookies are soft and have a good flavor. Don't overcook them though. They aren't quite brownies but they are still good. This recipe doesn't make a huge batch, I would consider doubling if I was making again.

bars

During March I wanted to make a bunch of green themed cookies in honor of St. Patrick's Day. I was thinking some type of key-lime pie variety, a couple of chocolate-mint flavored ones and at my brother-in-laws request a lemon-lime swirl. But I never got around to any of it. So yesterday, on the actual day of St. Pat, Scarlett and I painted our fingernails green and got down to some cookie baking business.

We made key lime pie bars. Which brings me to a serious question should bars even be considered cookies? I've been looking through a lot of cook books and they always seem to put the two in the same section. But aren't bars more like cakes? I mean they both usually need to be cut with a knife and all the dough/batter is baked at once, in one pan. Unlike cookies- which don't usually need a knife and are baked individually. So I'm not sure what the defining characteristic of a cookie is. It's portability? It's roundness? Mobility? Or individuality? Because many bars once baked and sliced are just as portable as a regular cookie. I don't think the same can be said of cake. Cakes also require forks, whereas bars usually don't. So bars are kind of mutant cookies and Frankenstein cakes. They just don't fit in anywhere. I guess they are hybrids of both. I just don't know whether they should be allowed on a cookie blog? However, for the time being I will let it slide. So, bars you are being given a temporary and provisional pass which will be re-evaluated when I can once again walk without waddling.

Scarlett had surgery today. Her green fingernail polish was a big hit with the nurses. One of her nurses was a red-headed girl that was about five inches shorter than me. I'm pretty sure she was a leprechaun. She would have loved our key lime pie bars, except we forgot to dye them green as originally planned.

key lime pie bars

These bars were really easy to make, even with Scarlett helping. I just had her run the food processor and shell the pistachios.  I don't know how much they embodied a key lime pie. The taste actually reminded me of my Grandma's "cheesecake" which isn't like a New York Cheesecake but more of a soft-set cheesecake. I wanted something campy and green for St. Patrick's Day but then I forgot to dye the batter. Oh well, the crust had some green pistachio and lime flakes in it. I originally found  this recipe on Martha Stewart's website only they were called "Lime Squares with Pistachio Graham-Cracker Crust." I tweaked them just slightly by adding a little more sugar to the crust and using key lime juice. I'm sure you could make them into a creamy lemon bar, or orange bar as well. 

Key Lime Bars
Crust:
1/2 stick of butter (4 TBSP)
2/3 cup shelled pistachios*
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon lime zest

For the filling:
2 large egg yolks
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup fresh key lime juice

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 8x8 inch pan with parchment paper and brush with butter (leave a two inch overhang for easy removal.)

2. In food processor finely grind all crust ingredients (except for the butter.) Once ground add melted butter and press into pan. Bake 8-12 minutes until lightly browned and let cool for 30 minutes.

3. In a large bowl whisk together egg yolks and sweetened condensed milk until smooth. Then add key lime juice and also whisk until smooth.

4. Pour filling over cooled crust and then bake until set (around 15 minutes.) Remove from oven and let cool. Then chill for at least one hour before serving.

My Notes:
*The recipe says shelled pistachios. Is it just me or does shelled pistachios sound like it should still have the shell on?
I think these bars had a little to thick of crust. They weren't bad or too hard just a little too thick. I think you could also just make a basic graham cracker crust and leave the pistachios out and it wouldn't make that big of a difference.

nesting for now.

Remember when I could see my own knees? 

Nearing the homestretch of my third and final trimester I've been full of angst. Like an Emo kid without a broken-heart I feel a little out of place. As my internal need to nest kicks in, I've become stressed about the fact that I'm not in my own nest. I suddenly miss my coffee table books, Christmas decorations, extra bedsheets and the girls hand-painted doll house. Not even knowing which side of the Mississippi I'll call home six months from now has only compounded my anxiety. I imagine the contents of my storage unit feel as jittery as I do. But I'm obviously just projecting, they're probably enjoying the reprieve from the day-to-day wear and tear of being used.

I have little control over anything right now. And I really hate that. I can't control which law schools will accept Nic, which ones will have the best financial aid package, and where in the United States that will be. I can't control when the baby will come (although I can limit it down to anytime in the next month.) I can't control Scarlett's night terrors and sleep apnea or her recovery time from the upcoming surgery that might fix the problem. I can't control the missing bolts to the baby crib, the broken lens on my camera, my unreliable cell phone or the torn ligaments in my stomach.

I wish I was one of those Goddess-like pregnant ladies. The ones with the "glow." The ones with freshly painted nurseries furnished like a Pottery Barn catalog. The ones who breastfeed with ease and don't fret about labor pains. The ones who are still making home-cooked meals and wearing high heels at 35 weeks. The ladies who's hands aren't so swollen they can't wear their wedding rings...See? Look at me! I've become the Holden Caulfield of pregnant ladies- all full of angst and anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of incompetence. I apologize, I hate angst. I hope it's just my final batch of pregnancy hormones because even my cookies took a beating this week.

about an hour into the process...

As I attempted to make homemade Twix bars I kept thinking of a line I had read in a magazine article the day before "what's true in food is true in life" the author mused. The Twix bars were a nightmare. They just were not good. What's more is I think I was asking a little too much from a batch of cookies. I subconsciously put all of my frustrations into creating the perfect cookie. As the food processor failed to grind rice like I imagined it would a fairly simple recipe turned into two hours of unexpected prep work. I was literally panning for rice dust. I would grind the rice for a minute transfer it into an emptied out sprinkle shaker and beat out the bits of rice dust. It took two hours, for two tablespoons of ground rice. And in the end the cookies ended up being sub par. The shortbread was dry, crumbly and had inedible little chunks of rice in it (despite my two hours of careful grinding.) I burnt the cream giving the caramel an unappetizing appearance and even a sweet, melted layer of Cadbury chocolate covering it all can only do so much. They just weren't good cookies. 


Looking back on this post it's a little embarrassing- I hear the whininess, I cringe at the angst and I really don't want anyone to read it. But what's true in food is true in life, at least for me, at least right now. When I started this project I knew I'd make some emotional connections to my baking but I thought my growth would come more in the culinary realm than the physiological. But I guess that's where I am in life. My mind is very congested. With all of the upcoming changes that are, as of right now, out of my hands, I'm flailing. I want a clearly marked recipe for my life, one with detailed measurements and precise, fool-proof directions. But I have to keep in mind what's true in food, is true in life.  The Twix didn't turn out as planned, even with a detailed recipe. But there are dozens more batches to go. Six months from now I'll have a new batch of problems vexing me and then like now I'll have to bake my way through them. 

homemade twix bars

Even the pictures came out crumby. And not in a good way.

Last week when I was eating a mini-Twix bar I read the side of the package "chocolate. caramel. COOKIE BARS"  and I thought to myself. Cookie bars? I should try and make some. So I did.

The morning I started these cookies my Dad said "What are you making?" 

I responded with "Homemade Twix Bars."

"Hmm. You know you can buy those at the store for twenty-five cents?"

"I know. And seriously, it's obviously been awhile since you bought a candy bar. They don't sell anything for twenty-five cents." 

"Maybe the little ones."

"Maybe" I said and the day went on...

As night time approached and I was growing frustrated, still trying to complete these so-called Twix bars my Dad reminded me again "Only twenty-five cents at the store."

My pregnant legs were achy and I was in no mood to be sassed around by a guy who never buys candy and so I kind of told him to "shut up they don't even sell the little ones for that." The way it came out didn't even have a tinge of funniness.

My meanness shocked even myself and I knew these Twix bars were officially done for. So I gave up trying to revive them. Cookies should never make people grumpy. 

Homemade Twix Bars

Shortbread Cookie:

5 1/2 ounces (1 stick plus 3 tablespoons) butter, softened

1/4 cup sugar

2 cups cake flour

2 tablespoons ground rice (regular rice processed until ground to a powder)

Caramel:

2 cups sugar

3/4 cup light corn syrup

1/2 cup water

1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

1 cup heavy cream

1 cup sweetened condensed milk

Melted Chocolate (@ 6oz)

1. Shortbread cookie: Put oven rack in lowest position. Pre-heat oven to 350. Spray 9x13 pan with cooking spray, line with parchment paper and spray again.

2. In a large bowl or kitchen mixer cream together sugar and butter until fluffy (@ two minutes.) Slowly incorporate the flour and ground rice until it all comes together. For me the consistency was exactly like play-dough at this point. 

3. Press dough into prepared pan and bake for 12 minutes. Rotate the pan and bake for another 8 minutes, the shortbread should be a deep golden brown. 

4. Remove from oven and allow to cool on rack until shortbread reaches room temperature. 

5. Make the caramel: In a large saucepan combine sugar, corn syrup, water and lemon juice. Cover saucepan and cook on medium heat for 4 minutes. Then remove lid and turn up heat until it boils. Do not stir from this point on. Keep boiling and make sure you put it in a big enough pan, sugar bubbles can get really big (and are extremely hot, like molten lava.)

6. In a separate small saucepan heat cream until it boils and then remove from heat an set aside. 

7. After five or six minutes, the sugar will turn golden brown. When the mixture reaches 300 with a candy thermometer take off heat for 1 minute and then slowly wisk in cream until smooth. Then stir in sweetened condensed milk until smooth. 

8. Return pan to heat stirring constantly (or cream will burn) until the caramel reaches 240 on a candy thermometer. Remove from heat pour over cooled shortbread and allow to set.

9. Top mixture with melted chocolate and allow to set. Then slice and serve. 

My Notes: 

Nearly every recipe that I found by Googling "Homemade Twix Bars" was essentially a slight variation of the same recipe originally attributed to Sherry Yard, from her book Desserts by the Yard.  That being said if I were to every make these cookie again I would only do so using a different recipe. I'd use my own caramel recipe which is a lot less temperamental and easier to make. Oh and I'd find a better shortbread recipe too. One that didn't require rice, because I will never do that again. 

love songs for a teddy bear

Nic and I have an agreement that neither of us, should ever, under any circumstance purchase or gift the other one a stuffed animal. Not on Birthdays. Not on Anniversaries. And not even on Valentine's Day. Never. Ever. We are adults, we have no room in our lives or hearts for lovable stuffed creatures. We feel the day we start seriously giving them to one another is the day we've stopped loving each other.

So with the exception of stuffed animals I'm one of those people who loves everything about Valentine's Day. I know it's one great, big, giant commercial holiday. But I love it. The hustle, the bustle and all the unnecessary traditions which a made-up holiday embodies. I just like the feeling of celebration.

Thursday and Friday the girls had their respective school Valentine's parties. They each came home with their doily decorated bags of love-centric, sugar-laced loot and freely shared their good fortune with everyone in the family. I loved watching all of the kids running out of the elementary school with giant grins and equally-big sized Valentine boxes. They were so happy, so in the moment. Nobody had ruined it for them yet, it wasn't commercialized it was just pure love and joy over a box full of heart-shaped snacks.

Saturday night I packed  up my cliche Valentine's Day cookies and we headed to our friends Chip and Becky's Valentine's party. It was a good party. We even passed out Valentine's and participated in a Valentine's box competition. I had spent so much time on my cookies that I neglected my box. About an hour before the party the girls and I just glued a bunch of junk to a big box. This party is what I love about holidays, even manufactured ones. Because all holidays really are is just a good excuse for a bunch of people who love and care about each other to sit around a table and laugh. And what's not to love about that?

chocolate-dipped strawberry cookies

A couple of days before Valentine's Day I spotted these giant, perfect looking strawberries at the grocery store. They were just begging to be dipped in chocolate. Because my culinary focus right now is cookies I wanted to find a way to incorporate fresh strawberries and rich, chocolatey cookies into one. I tried to find an existing chocolate-dipped strawberry cookie recipe. But all of the ones out there were all wrong (they either had a non-chocolate base or were merely strawberry flavored, unacceptable either way.) After the early morning disappointment of my Red Velvet cookies I wanted to stick with an easy, chocolate cookie I was familiar with so I went the whole "homemade oreos" route and I assembled the cookies as follows:


Chocolate-dipped Strawberry Cookies


Chocolate Cookie (aka homemade Oreos)*
1 package of Devil's Food Cake Mix
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
[I doubled it...]

1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Roll dough into quarter sized balls (can be made bigger or smaller if  you want to do mini or jumbo cookies.) Place on cookie sheets and bake for eight minutes.

3. Let cool slightly on cookie sheet and transfer to cooling rack.

Chocolate Whipping Cream**
Add about 2 tablespoons cocoa powder to a pint of heavy whipping cream. Whip together until right before soft-peak stage then slowly add powdered sugar and vanilla to sweeten to desired flavor. You can add more cocoa powder if you want to make it more chocolatey.

Assembly 
chocolate cookies
chocolate whipping cream
strawberries
melted chocolate (I like to use the milk chocolate Cadbury bars, I melted down 2 bars for this recipe)

After chocolate cookies have cooled completely place half of the batch on wax or parchment paper and drizzle with half of your melted chocolate as seen above.

Immediately place washed, dried and chopped strawberries on melted chocolate.

Take the remaining half of your melted chocolate a drizzle on top of strawberries.***

Let chocolate harden and set-up before assembling further (I just put them in the fridge for a few minutes.)

After chocolate is cool. Take reserved cookies and add a swirl of chocolate whipped cream and sandwich on top of a strawberry cookie.

To prolong the life of your cookie, refrigerate until serving. But I'd make the day of serving, because with fresh fruit it probably isn't going to stay fresh for long.

My Notes:
*These are like the easiest cookies to make and they still feel kind of homemade-ish. I usually just do cream cheese frosting in these cookies (sometimes even mint or peppermint flavored cream cheese frosting) but that wasn't what I was going for here. It just happened to be the easiest chocolate cookie recipe I could think to make.
**I was just going to do regular whipped cream but decided to try chocolate whipped cream at the last minute. I had never made it before and it tasted a little bit like it was chocolate pudding flavored. I need to toy around with chocolate whipped cream before I make a final decision on keeping it around.
 ***One of my friends felt like there was too much chocolate on these, that they were too hard in places. But other people were okay with it. So I guess use your own digression.

I liked these cookies overall. I considered just halving the strawberries but I think that would have made for awkward biting. I think they need to be diced or at least sliced down for the whole cookie to have the chocolate-strawberry essence. If I made them again I might just do them all as open faced cookies with just the strawberries and chocolate layer and leave the cream and top cookie off. It would save some time and would taste more like a pure chocolate-covered strawberry...But they still tasted good with the cream if you wanted to go all out.